So part one of the series, I discussed the way you set your expectations can really affect your life. High expectations are a must in order to generate a happier life. But listen when I say this; “it’s not just about having high expectations”. High expectations are not a stand-alone remedy that can cure your issues and get you to the point where you begin creating the life that you want. Because if you have high expectations in low standard and/or mediocre things is a sure way to set yourself up for failure.
Think about it, if you are in a partnership with a business company. You expect them to deliver services to you but they have a reputation of not being reliable but you debate with it because they are cheaper or maybe it’s because they’re a close friend. Whatever the reason you end up deciding to go ahead and give them a chance. when the day comes and they let you down, the question arises is it their fault because they didn’t deliver or is it your fault because you misguided your expectations. The truth is its both. They were supposed to do what they said but if you knew that they were sketchy, you could of averted the possibilities of issues arising in advance. So it’s not just setting high expectations, it’s also about directing your expectation correctly. So now the question pops up, how do we do that? Well that’s what we are going to discuss about in this blog.
♦See Things As They Are♦
One major issue that comes across when people set their expectations is the lack to accept things as they are. Yes be hopeful and optimistic about the future. It’s definitely a must to believe that everything is going to grow no matter the situation you might be put in. Hoping is just one part to creating growth within your life. The word create is an action word, which mean to establish or to work towards a goal. The thing is that there are a lot of things in this world that cannot be fixed until you accept it as it is. Or else the thing that you need to work on might cause your expectations to let you down.
Here go an example; If someone who is an alcoholic, say they are going to get their life right but deny that they have alcohol issues.They will make getting their life right nearly impossible for them to do. Because they will still use and abuse an element that is holding them back because they are choosing to ignore the issue at hand.so their expectation that they set for their self of getting their life right cannot be met until they choose to see the real issue at hand.
All of your expectations can reach the destinations you have directed them in but not when you ignore the road blocks that are set up as adversities to see how much you wanna change or create the life you want. Assess your situation and see things for what they are, so you can see what you need to work on. This will begin to make expectations apart of your possible reality.
♦Focus on the effort♦
We have to learn how to set our expectations on things/people that are showing us more effort then they are words or potential. Sometimes we put so much faith in someone or something who have plenty of potential or might be great with feeding people with words. That we allow what we feel that they are capable of to blind us from what they are really not doing. We fail to realize that in a lot of cases the word potential is another word for someone who is not doing anything. We put our hearts in these people thinking they will grow to achieve something in particular. We constantly put our time, energy, and emotions working with them hoping that they will stand up and stop procrastinating. But we end up left with a lot of let downs, over and over because we are focused more on what we want to see someone as vs. what they actually are. We have to focus on the effort not the potential.
What we choose to focus on, is where our expectations find its foundation to build upon. So if we focus on someone or something who showed potential with no effort, its like hoping for a flower to grow with no water no sun. They may be the seeds that can grow into the plant that might be what doctors need, to create a cure for illness forever. But with no sun and water it will just stay in the dirt forever. Just because someone have potential doesn’t mean they are doing what is required to meet it. Because they have been plenty of plants and trees that didn’t grow into what they were intended to because they didn’t receive the necessary elements that were required in order to grow. Unless they are showing you progression to what you believe them to have in some way. Guard your expectation.
♦Once you gain direction set your expectations high♦
After you set your expectations in a direction that has the true active potential to bring your desires into reality. SET THEM HIGH! The reason being is from a statement that’s been said plenty of times “Growth equals Happiness”. When you meet low expectations you find yourself happy but temporarily! Eventually the satisfaction would birth a harsh reality that you was only settling . A quote goes “shoot for the moon because even if you miss, at least you will land among the stars.” You have to set your expectations high so you can have more to reach towards everyday. The one who steps out of his bed with purpose is far more excited then the one who steps out of his bed with out it.
Picture you waking up with the expectations to make your family happy as a surprise. So you plan to take them to Disneyland, you plan to take them on a road trip and a whole lot of things. How would your get out the bed? Possibly even wouldn’t sleep huh? Well how about if it was your day off tomorrow and you had nothing planed. How would you wake up? Possibly as late as possible huh? That’s because your expectations is one of the things that set the platform of how you use your emotions as a tool. If you can set your expectations high in the right direction you can learn how to tune your emotions to create a happy life around you.
♦Don’t Give Into Your Fears♦
Fear sole existence is a destructive force that Has destroyed millions of possibilities in countless peoples lives. Fear is your expectations greatest enemies. Fear holds the power to eliminate or misdirect your expectations. It can even turn your expectation against you if you decide to operate in fear. Let me explain.
The reason why someone stay in a completely abusive relationship is normally because of the fear to be alone, The reason why the promising entrepreneur decides to settle only for an 8 hour job is the fear that they will fail. If the best Football player in the world had a severe fear of flying, even with his skills in his own craft become a liability. Because he would be so devoured by the fear of flying, that it would cause him to not be able to travel to some of his games. his fear of being in a plane is hindering him, unless he relish it but how?
You have to place courage before fear. You have to find a “why”, a reason to why you want what you expect to happened. Then build that why up so that it becomes stronger then any form of doubt that could come to mind. We all get nervous from doing things, even masters of their craft feel nervous before they do what they are capable of. But they have a reason how they can step out on the scene and out perform their fear. It’s all because of their why! So its natural to feel a little scared but don’t allow it to get to the point where negative emotions devour your actions.
♦Let Your Expectations Feed Your Hunger♦
Now when all of these things are in line, let your expectation feed your hunger. And take action! Expectation cannot just exist in your mind, you have to let it fuel your hunger so that you can be relentless in what you do. Expectation isn’t a magical remedy to create things into your life. Expectations is a important tool that if directed properly can build habits in yourself that can create the things you want into your life. Creating healthy habits is the basis for building a powerful structure. Getting to those habits is set by what you expect from yourself. SO SET YOUR EXPECTATIONS RIGHT!